TO ALL THE RESCUERS…
To all the frontline workers, to the doctors, nurses, care workers, reiki healers, yoga teachers, therapists, mothers, fathers, fireman, first responders…
The helpers, the rescuers, the healers – are you feeling disconnected and stressed? We have all been through so much over the past 18 months. We have never been so alone all together. We have been experiencing this universally and simultaneously.
We have never been so anxious globally and there has never been such a lack of connection.
The fatigued and drained feelings are a shared experience. These emotions can create illness of the body and/or the mind. When there is illness there is likely an underlying template of stress or trauma.
Our drive is to help others, right?
For most of us, we have a real empathy with our fellow human beings. This drive is good, it really is, it saves lives. But there is another drive we have, a drive to ‘fix the unfixable’ and this is not compassion. Fixing the unfixable demonstrates a lack of compassion for ourselves.
This drive to help is also fuelled by the need to justify our own existences, like we need to help and to heal to remain here in life.
According to Psychiatrist Gabor Mate, this often stems from our parents being too stressed to see us, to witness us in childhood. Perhaps we felt like we needed to help them feel better. Or perhaps we were constantly tested and experienced the stress of being evaluated in school, which sent the message that we are not acceptable just as we are and that there is no room for vulnerabilities.
Scientific studies have shown that the stress is ramped up for women.
Women especially absorb the stresses of others around them. It affects the mind/body unity and has an impact on women’s physiology. There is also a cultural expectation of women as caregivers which weighs heavy.
It is mostly women that get auto-immune diseases, the helper personality traits get sick. People pleasers suppress their emotions and ‘nice’ people get sick.
When we have a compulsive concern with the needs of others while ignoring our own, we get sick.
When we become stressed out all the time it just becomes normal, which is great in our jobs, we are great in the stress of a storm. What are we like in the calm though? If we are not at peace, then we are addicted to stress.
So, what can we do to help ourselves? We are never going to stop helping people, right?
Well, nobody is ever damaged or broken, and the wounded and wounds can heal. We can start by taking care of ourselves, by insisting on our own lives and our own needs. We must recognise when it is time to say no, to be seen, understood, and heard like our lives depend on it, because it’s likely that they do.
We can acknowledge that we are likely to be absorbing the energies of others, the many people that we help and find a way to clear our bodies of these energies with a reiki treatment, a gong bath, a cleansing swim, a walk in nature or a regular meditation.
We could start to help people because we can and not as we feel it justifies our life. We have the right to be here just as we are, to be accepted just as we are.
Oh, and by the way, when you start saying ‘no’, you’re going to find out who your friends are!
For further information or to book sessions to help clear your absorbed emotions and energy field get in touch.