Are you a good human? Do you know any?
I had this little brain wave that I wanted team Yoga Leggs to run some kind of monthly giveaway where we celebrate good people doing nice things and reward them with a stretchy leopard print pressie to say thanks. You know the pay it forward thingy. We love to give and as much as the larger charities are fantastic and of course need our support. We have both witnessed firsthand how giving small and direct can really make a huge difference and won’t get lost in a sea of admin costs.
I feel like I have always tried my utmost best to be a good human. I can’t seem to help it. I think my kids think I am super straight and my husband thinks I am annoyingly too nice! But I come in handy if you require assistance. I am a self confessed people pleaser, a forgiver, a fixer of things that need to be fixed, and a hoarder of sentimental junk that you just might need one day, a finder of lost things and a seer of both sides of the story (that’s always a popular one!) I am not saying that I am a saint I just try to practise self-restraint and politeness. Must be my Buddhist training. Not sure if it’s a curse or a blessing but I seem to have the helpful gene (thanks nans) and a desire to do good. The definition of a do-gooder describes a well-meaning busy body. No wonder doing good seems to have gone out of fashion, that person sounds bloody awful! Is it uncool to be kind? Do we prefer someone with a bit of an edge to them a smidgen of mystery, a flamboyant past with plenty of good stories to tell? My own dad could write ten books, he is a very funny character. Can you be both or is it the sensible and sensitive’s amongst us that feel it’s our duty to want to do the right thing and keep the peace and ensure that everyone around us is nurtured and happy. Can you teach kindness or are we just that way inclined or not? Is it a personality trait, or genetics or something that comes with age and practise like wisdom and wrinkles? Maybe we all need some kindness lessons. They might just come in more useful than algebra.
I love a Russell Brand podcast and when I listened to the one featuring the brilliant Gabor Mate, it got me thinking that my aversion to others displeasure is very likely the result of my own resolved pain from way way back, others sadness anger and hurt doesn’t sit well with me. I totally resonated with that need to fix and give chocolate or whatever else was available to stop a person’s suffering so that I myself would feel better. Deep stuff Russell keep it coming. But being able to step up and be strong enough to share another’s hurt to be comfortable amidst the discomfort to open your heart and give more than you thought was possible. To be another human’s support system and lifesaver and not make it about you is a pretty remarkable thing. Food for thought and things to work on, my trouble is that I am ninety percent pure empathy and ten percent nuts. I feel your pain. If you cry I cry.
Success in our Times
Success in our times is very much judged on the possessions we acquire on this journey and how wonderful we look to the outside world. Academic wealth seems to be playing an even stronger role, the pressure really is on now for the smallest of children to do well and get it all down on paper (yes we know you want to play, of course you do you’re four) It’s so results-driven it kind of makes me a little crazy. It is etched into our subconscious minds that good grades equal good jobs equal good lives end of story. As a mum of four very different (in every aspect) children, how can they all fit into the same mould and tick the same boxes and have the same needs? Why would they value and want the same things as each other, they are unique. I have witnessed an A* in one subject and a fail in another and everything in between. My instincts as a mother was to be impressed with that A* it screams success it makes for a very proud mum moment it’s the ultimate pat on the back and on the other end of the scale a sense of disappointment when a few marks out resulted in a fail; I am in no way a pushy mum I just want to see my children happy and failure is not one to induce a fit of the giggles. I myself was made to feel at school that my love and passion for hairdressing was somewhat below my academic capabilities and my brain would be somehow wasted. My artistic right side would argue and felt a little offended. Newsflash we will always need somebody to make our hair look pretty and working with a bunch of crazy hairdressers is a whole lot of fun! My daughter is studying A level art, sociology and philosophy and I am blown away by all that she gives to each subject. But should we be more impressed by her thinking or her imaginative creativity? Some might only be impressed by a dose of triple science with a shot of maths thrown in for excitement. It doesn’t sit well with me the way the system makes the bottom set feel. It’s judgemental and outdated. Those kinds of feelings of inadequacy can be hard for a person to shake and plays havoc with their self-esteem. I don’t really like how we are measured up. In our bid to raise and grade super smart, multi-talented high achievers are we forgetting to leave a little room for people skills? In my daily observations, I have noticed that most people are pretty selfish; when we drive from A to B there’s no time for courteous gestures when we all have to be somewhere ten minutes ago! We don’t queue in our cheery British way anymore we make snarky comments for all to hear instead. We are often rude to the few humans left that haven’t yet been replaced by machinery. Chasing our tails has chased away our ability to observe where we can be of service to another. Even if that just means holding a door open paying a compliment or letting a person back off their drive onto a dangerous main road without trying to ram them! Check how you are driving it might mirror how you are living.
Is being nice a crime?
I think some people assume that being nice is some sort of crime or weakness, a distraction from the business of achieving. Let’s face it who has the time these days for giving, there isn’t that much of ourselves left at the end of a busy week and aren’t we all being vigorously encouraged to “self-care” on the inside and the outside in any spare moments these days? How the hell are we supposed to fit in random acts of kindness and binge-watch seven seasons of something on Netflix whilst getting our nails done on our well earned day of rest!
We like good people
Sorry back to the point, so as I said team Yoga Leggs like good people very much. We don’t watch the news (it is very negative!) and we love tales of good deeds and applaud acts of loveliness. We admire the doers of good things and cheer them on. We would love to hear about the good humans in your life, the fundraisers that climb mountains and run marathons and jump out of planes, the mums that run PTAs whilst juggling a million and one other things. The teachers and nurses that inspire and hold hands and give that little bit more to the ones that need extra help and support. The Samaritans that counsel and the good people that feed and shelter and foster and care and to the everyday people that do tiny acts of kindness, just because it feels right. We want you to uplift us with your tales of niceness and enter these Good Humans into our Good Human monthly lottery where they will be rewarded with a Yoga Leggs gift to say thank you for shining your light. Okay, our jackpot may not be as exciting as the euro millions lotto but we won’t charge you £2.50 to enter it is Free!!!!
Even more exciting we have created a special range of GOOD HUMAN clothing that is now available for you to buy and soon to win. Please don’t be modest If you are making the world a better place, be proud of your efforts and let’s celebrate and encourage kindness and compassion.
We will start our monthly lottery next year so stay tuned.
Be good humans, people, shine your light and let people back off their drives in safety, please.